Miracles and Less

I promise to keep you up to date on the really bad haircut situation. Right now, I’m thinking since it’s a holiday weekend and I don’t have to show up at any biz meetings for at least 4 days, I will see if the hair can grow enough to look less like, well….a complete doofus.

But today, I want to talk to you about my book. Well, of course, just like all other bloggers I am writing a book! No kidding. No one will publish it, but at least I can join all the rest of you knuckleheads in saying “Yes, right now I’m busy working on my book.”

Last night I was working on Chapter 3. It was late and frankly I was getting tired and my attention was dimming. I stopped after one particular sentence and stared at it. I re-read it. I stared at it. Then I burst out laughing in a perfectly quiet house at 3 am. I guess that is considered normal since no one bothered to get up and ask “what’s so funny?”

In the middle of some text of great thoughtfulness and serious reflection (that is my way of writing you know) I had typed this sentence.

Miracles and sometimes less happen every day.

After the proper amount of reflection and study described above, I realized that the sentence surely was one of the STUPIDEST thoughts to ever come out of my keyboard. OK, I guess it may be the most stupid thought to come out of any keyboard anywhere. Unless we include Molly Ivins and Maureen Dowd.

Combined with the haircutting incident of the day before I figure I must have entered the ‘what in the hell is WRONG with you’ period of my life.

You know. That time when your wife and kids talk behind your back to the rest of the family? They say things like, “I just don’t know what’s wrong with him, he is doing and saying the strangest things you can imagine!” Or in the everyday shortcut language of my son, “What’s the deal with Dad, is he going retarded or something?”

Which leads me to believe I better hurry up with finishing the book. At least I can steal speell at this point.

But undie turd, I also had an immediate “ah-hah” thought when thinking about my totally ignorant sentence. I’m thinking t-shirts.

That’s right. T-shirts. There is always a moron in the world wearing a T-shirt with an inscription they believe is profound. Given the recent SAT exam scores I’ve seen I’m figuring the young kids will snap this right up thinking they are in the midst of a philosophical new age. Maybe Molly or Maureen will want one.

Would any of you like distribution rights in your area?

More t-shirt ideas tomorrow. Yes, that is a threat.