Unnerwear

I’ve been grumpy lately. I decided that the reason is my unnerwear don’t fit. It seems that trying on underwear at the store is frowned on. My take on that fact is that it should be OK for me to try on underwear, but certainly not anyone else.

Brown eyed girl tells me that women try on underwear at the store by putting it on outside their current underwear. Huh? There ya go, yet another mysterious thing about the opposite sex. How would you know if it fit if you put it on over underwear that already do not fit? She just looked at me with the ‘look’ when I asked that out loud.

So back to why my underwear does not fit. Over the years I have learned a few things by buying lots of underwear that don’t fit. For example, did you know all men’s underwear is undersized? I have a suspicion that anorexic women must be designing men’s underwear. I have a size 30 waist, great big athletic shoulders and muscular arms, muscular thighs….ooops…..I forgot for a moment we were talking about underwear….despite a size 30 waist I have to buy underwear that is waist size 34-36 L. If I buy waist size 30 it looks as if I have put little boy underwear on, not a pretty sight at all, a sort of combination underwear/speedo ‘my god what is he thinking’ dopey appearance. When the size 34-36 is laundered one time they are also too small. It seems no matter what I do I’m left wearing underwear that is too small; at least too small in one spot or another.

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed the pouch in front is virtually non-existent or pretty darn big? The pouch part is designed by one of two different designers. The Alzheimer afflicted Grandma that forgot about the extra parts or the gal that spends her spare time watching porno movies and thinks all men are THAT size.

Last night I discussed my grumpiness with BEG and she decided to help out by looking on-line for some new underwear for me. I didn’t hear from her for a couple of hours. When I checked on her I discovered she was looking at pictures of men in underwear and had somehow forgotten her shopping task. She now has Jockey, Calvin Klein, and Fig Leaf in her favorite’s folder.

So today I went underwear shopping, I found a fine pair of Calvin Klein unnerwear made of modal fabric. They cost $20 per pair. Ouch. But they feel really good. I wore them all day. Pouch was perfect size for Seven’s equipment.

Got a problem though, I’m still grumpy.

Guess that wasn’t it.