Anybody Have One of These?

Did I tell you guys I compete in track meets despite being 55 years old? Yea, I thought maybe somewhere along the way I told you that. It probably sounds kinda weird to the casual observer, but I have managed to carve out a world class status for myself in my age group. And well, hell….I’ve never been world class in anything else so I just keep on doing it. Currently I am ranked 4^thin the world at 200 meters for men my age.

To get there I have to stay in tip top condition and the work on the track and in the weight room can be really exhausting. By now you might be thinking…so what?….but there is a point and I have something to tell you about.

Just like show and tell in elementary school I want to show you one of my high tech Christmas presents from this past Christmas. Yes, the same Christmas I bitched and complained and moaned about in public repeatedly…same one…but I got an interesting present from BEG even if I was grumpy once again at the season of all seasons on the female calendar.

See this? Unless you are terribly nearsighted I guess that’s a dopey question, but if you are you wouldn’t have gotten this far ...........anyway, this was one of my Christmas presents.

It’s a scale, but not just an ordinary everyday scale. This lil baby is made by Tanita and it will tell you all the following using biomechanical impedance….

Weight: Allows users to monitor weight alone, without receiving a body fat reading.

Body Fat%: Displays the amount of body fat in proportion to your body weight.

Body Water %: Calculates user's body water %.

Muscle Mass: Displays the weight of muscle in your body.

Metabolic Age: This feature compares your calculated metabolism to the average age associated with that level of metabolism.

DCI/Metabolic Age: Daily caloric intake is the estimated number of calories that can be consumed within the next 24 hours to maintain current weight based on your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Bone Mass: This feature indicates the weight of bone (bone mineral level, including calcium or other minerals) in the body.

Visceral Fat: Displays the amount Visceral fat in the abdominal cavity (stomach), surrounding the vital organs.

Since I know you are dying to know, being social voyeurs of the seventh degree, here are my stats as of this evening:
Weight: 170.2 lbs
Body Fat%: 11.8%
Water %: 55.9%
Muscle Mass: 142.6 lbs of handsome head turning macho muscle
Metabolic age: 18 years old, and no smartasses they do not mean emotional age!
Daily caloric intake: 1,920 calories.
Bone Mass: 7.4 lbs
Visceral fat: 7 lbs

Consider the last 5 minutes of your life completely wasted by the science of biomechanical impedance and Seven’s delayed Christmas excitement, not to mention his inadequate attempts at controlling narcissism.

This next test is to see if you can find Waldo, err...Seven in the photo below. First one to correctly identify me in this lineup is trying too hard.

And last, but not funny…the Joke of the Day

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The first young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," She said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The older woman felt very low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said.........well, will you look at that... I'm getting a fax!