Sleepless in Dallas

Well, honestly I’m not mooning you because I’m in a bad mood; I just had ‘writer indecision’ and decided to go with something simple.

At this exact moment I have removed myself from bed because my brain is on full flight, my body is in weekend exhaustion mode and it is an absolute given that I will not fall asleep. You know that weird feeling of lying in bed exhausted, a light sweat occurring under the covers, the brain racing along with a thousand thoughts, including “shut up and let me go to sleep”, but you know there is no chance that sleep will even come to flirt?

I am typically exhausted come Friday evening because as a...'ehem' ....seasoned athlete, I still compete in master’s track and field. My events are the 100 and 200 meter sprints and I train under the famous Bill Collins and run for the Houston Elite Track Club. The work is hard and I am very disciplined so fatigue is my regular partner on the weekends. Below is a photo of yours truly in the weight room at my local university where the track coaches are kind enough to let me use the athlete’s weight room. Weights are on Tuesdays and Thursdays, running on the track is M-W-F, sort of like a college class schedule. On Saturday and Sunday I veg out. Cool thing this year is that the World Championships are in Riccione, Italy in September. BEG is really excited about going to Bologna, Venice and Rome.

The mooning thing came up because I was torn between several different writing subjects. Leading up to MLK day I wanted to write about my personal philosophy that race is a concept, a human invention of cataloging humans that is now so out of control in the US that we resemble a third cousin to the sectarian strife of the type found in the Middle East. It’s a concept I love discussing. However, one resolution for the New Year is to quit being so danged serious in this writing space, so I moved away from an official MLK day writing.

So, rejecting the serious communication, I thought I might discuss a recent offer to have a Full Brazilian waxing accompanied by an anal bleaching. This was offered by a local salon to me free. Yep, I had to ask about the term Full Brazilian too. This is when salon technicians take off all your body hair with wax and they mean ALL your hair. Yes, down there too. Anal bleaching really got my head spinning too and it turns out it is all the rage in Hollywood, and now salons in urban areas have begun to offer this as a grooming service. Yes you probably understand correctly. Is your anus browner than you wish it to be? Well, no problem, they will massage in some lightening cream and turn it pretty pink again. Nope, I’m not kidding. You can google ‘anal bleaching’ and discover ol Seven is on the truth telling butt-end of things here. The root of my new knowledge was based on the fact that the owner of the salon, who made the ‘free’ offer, has 3 new girls that need hands on training to do a man since it is usually women that request this service. So, now my head is full of the thought of 4 women removing all my hair and bleaching my anus for free. The scary part of course is that it seems 3 of the girls are new at de-hairing a man’s genitals. Then there is the obvious problem of me not needing to be naked of hair everywhere, coupled with the solid belief that there is no soul on the planet that actually cares if my anus is pink or not, so I mean is there actually a point to owning a pink anus if you are a hairy 55 year old track athlete with Mexican-tone brown skin? So I’ll just put it to a vote here, should Seven go for it? Would you?

Then I thought I might tell you the story of being busted for mooning a tennis court full of girls during my high school years. I got suspended from school and the baseball team and the principal had a bizarrely serious conversation with me about whether or not I might be a little “cuckoo”. Yep, true story, but there were unique governing circumstances that made me virtually innocent of the act and certainly innocent of being “cuckoo”.

But after all the thinking about how to extend my writing career here on my posting book I was too tired to write so I just decided mooning YOU was the next best thing. I couldn’t find an actual mooning photo of 7 and I tried to do it myself but couldn't get the mirrors in the right place and push the camera buttons, so I let Bart do the honors. Besides I really want to wait until my anus is pretty pink before 'going cuckoo' and showing you an authentic 7 moon.

It's early Saturday morning and I can’t sleep. On my way to the keyboard I made 5 loops through my house in the darkness watching the security devices go off, blinking “gotcha” lights as I invaded each space. I made 5 rounds just to make sure they were all still working OK after the pass before. It’s a heavy obsessive compulsive night and I seem to be perking on DISORDER mode heavily.

Sorry, but I gotta go and check the locks on the doors a few times and make sure the porch light will go off and on 7 times.

And oh yeah, someone emailed about what does BEG look like? Well, here is my beauty with the confused Seven. Pic was taken by a friend at a small party 2 years ago.

Peace, out.

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PS: And……the links in my blogroll still don’t work though my template has been untouched. Can you use the links in my blogroll successfully? Please try 7 times each just to make sure and let me know.