I collect change in jars. When one gets full I find another one and just keep filling them up. Today I became aggravated with myself because I had just too many full change jars in my personal space. I dumped all the jars into one giant plastic paint bucket and took it to my grocery store. My grocery store has one of those change counting machines where you dump in all the change and it counts it for you, then screws you out of 7 percent of the total. When I was finished with my dump, and had taken my 7 percent screwing I had a voucher for $337 US.
At first I thought it was kinda cool. But then I realized the only reason I have so much change is because I use cash all the time. I carry a lot of cash, sometimes $600 or 700 dollars in my pockets. It’s an old habit. As the Rolling Stones sing, old habits die hard; which come to think of it is exactly the way I wish to die, rigid in all parts, it just seems heroic to me.
Anyway, I also realized that not many people carry cash any longer. Debit cards are the way to go, and yes I do have one. Still I use cash a lot. That makes me part of an old class of hombre. I see a day, starting tomorrow, when only old men will carry cash around, sort of like a dying breed, similar to how old men also wear Fedoras on their head, but no young men wear Fedoras unless they are in a rock or blues band. Or, maybe if they are retarded and shop at Goodwill, no offense intended to the retarded that might be reading here and you know who you are. Maybe. OK, and also no offense intended if you shop at Goodwill. Who would buy a hat at Goodwill anyway?
I carry cash and I feel really dated.
I’m old. I have cash. I have change.
Don’t judge me.
Oh crap. Damn change.
Damn 337 dollars.
I wonder if they would credit my debit card instead of giving me cash?
I think I need a Fedora. A new one to make me feel like one of the band.