Saturday, December 30, 2006

Unnerwear

I’ve been grumpy lately. I decided that the reason is my unnerwear don’t fit. It seems that trying on underwear at the store is frowned on. My take on that fact is that it should be OK for me to try on underwear, but certainly not anyone else.

Brown eyed girl tells me that women try on underwear at the store by putting it on outside their current underwear. Huh? There ya go, yet another mysterious thing about the opposite sex. How would you know if it fit if you put it on over underwear that already do not fit? She just looked at me with the ‘look’ when I asked that out loud.

So back to why my underwear does not fit. Over the years I have learned a few things by buying lots of underwear that don’t fit. For example, did you know all men’s underwear is undersized? I have a suspicion that anorexic women must be designing men’s underwear. I have a size 30 waist, great big athletic shoulders and muscular arms, muscular thighs….ooops…..I forgot for a moment we were talking about underwear….despite a size 30 waist I have to buy underwear that is waist size 34-36 L. If I buy waist size 30 it looks as if I have put little boy underwear on, not a pretty sight at all, a sort of combination underwear/speedo ‘my god what is he thinking’ dopey appearance. When the size 34-36 is laundered one time they are also too small. It seems no matter what I do I’m left wearing underwear that is too small; at least too small in one spot or another.

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed the pouch in front is virtually non-existent or pretty darn big? The pouch part is designed by one of two different designers. The Alzheimer afflicted Grandma that forgot about the extra parts or the gal that spends her spare time watching porno movies and thinks all men are THAT size.

Last night I discussed my grumpiness with BEG and she decided to help out by looking on-line for some new underwear for me. I didn’t hear from her for a couple of hours. When I checked on her I discovered she was looking at pictures of men in underwear and had somehow forgotten her shopping task. She now has Jockey, Calvin Klein, and Fig Leaf in her favorite’s folder.

So today I went underwear shopping, I found a fine pair of Calvin Klein unnerwear made of modal fabric. They cost $20 per pair. Ouch. But they feel really good. I wore them all day. Pouch was perfect size for Seven’s equipment.

Got a problem though, I’m still grumpy.

Guess that wasn’t it.

14 Comments:

Anonymous Rhea said...

This was an extremely interesting post. I have had occasional underwear problems, too. With women, you either have to wear thong or bikini, or else suffer with 'grandma' underpants. A weird choice.

December 30, 2006 at 5:10 PM  
Blogger Rick said...

Wear the jock and call it done.

December 30, 2006 at 8:03 PM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

Oh poor Seven... have you tried, um, boxer briefs? Stacy's fave underwear are Calvin Klein too. He DESPISES boxer briefs but maybe they will work for you. It's okay to be grumpy sometimes! Happy New Year to you, BEG and the rest of the family.

December 30, 2006 at 9:59 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hmmm. What Rick says would be the male equivalent of a woman’s thong, right? Hmmm. Interesting thought. Now, if you’re serious, try Patti’s suggestion. If this is a sneaky to get us to talk about OUR thongs, think again.

What is it about men today?? My son, my son-in-law and my ex were all grumpy today!! Are all you guys on some strange wave length today? I'd say too much sports in the past few days, but the 2 younger guys only watched it a little. I finally gave up and came "home" to be with my little dogs. They aren't grumpy.

December 30, 2006 at 10:19 PM  
Anonymous Silent One ~D~ said...

just the thought of you in too small underwear... or any kind of underwear.... **dang I forgot where I was going with this comment**

Anywho... BEG has great taste Jockey, CK and FigLeaf?? Wow
Way to go girl!

Glad your dilema is solved... and that the "pouch" is just right.

Happy New Years to you and BEG!

December 30, 2006 at 10:29 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Rhea,
BEG has a couple pair of grandma underpants. Very good birth control method.

Rick,
You know what? I actually thought about it. I even tried it one day. Problem was that I kept running out for passes during meetings.

Cakes,
I have every kind of underwear under the Creators smile. I want to find just the right pair and buy 300 pair! Because of my track running career I have very muscular thighs and the legs of the boxer briefs ride up and get stuck tween my legs and other equipment. GAAAAHHHH! Makes me nutty

Lynilu,
We are grumpy this time of year as a general rule. It's another one of those gender things. Women are happy and smiling and wearing Christmas tree sweatshirts. Men are silently banging their heads on the table and worrying about their unnerwear.

Silent Girly,
Nude photo sets are available for $1,000. I donate all proceeds to the "Save the Texas Armadillo Foundation"
Happy New Year to you too, and you are now officially on my "I love you cause you flatter me list"

December 31, 2006 at 9:03 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Underwear are very important to the well being of a man I do believe. Happy 2000 and Seven. :^)
Ilias

December 31, 2006 at 3:12 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Ilias,
Wow...hadn't thought about it being 200seven....Happy New Year to you too!

December 31, 2006 at 4:47 PM  
Blogger ~gkw said...

Yes, this is going to be YOUR year 7...

I alway wear whatever my wife brings home and tells me to wear....

I do agree there are days that it makes me a lot more irritable than others.

Have a GREAT New Year!

December 31, 2006 at 7:49 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Garry,
Underwear abdication? You will wear any underwear she brings home? What kind does she buy?

December 31, 2006 at 8:04 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

LoL...
Can't reply without one more martini-
Has "going bare" been an option?

Probably not with running.
I have a size 7 thong I'd be happy to send your way...
That was probably TMI-
Sorry :)

I did 2 miles today- it was wonderful...just a brisk walk :)
no thong though- just biker shorts-
really, it was not sexy. I promise :)

January 1, 2007 at 8:52 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't stand it when I'm dumb and can't delete the evidence! (ignore me...please!)
Hubby loves a brand by Lance Armstrong- might be the same kind of mircofiber you were talking about-
And they weren't cheap either...but very nice.
:)

January 2, 2007 at 3:13 AM  
Blogger Angie said...

BEG tries on underwear? Huh. Maybe I'll have to start doing that. Now that they make thongs for low rise pants I've been taken by surprise one too many times. I mean...how are undies supposed to stay up if they only come half way up your arse?

January 2, 2007 at 9:13 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Storms,
I'm not sure she does that, I'll have to ask specifically. She just told me that women do that....
I hear about unnerwear staying up and all the other problems....I vote for just going nekkid...
BTW; missed you....

January 2, 2007 at 6:47 PM  

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