Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Acute nonsense

I went to a family reunion last fall.

My grandfather rode out with my wife and myself to the State Park where everyone gathered to swap lies.

This side of my family is a rowdy bunch. The other side of my family is the intellectual side with lawyers and docs and influential chiefs of industry and all that. I half expect them to begin family reunions with ‘great books’ discussions; but like I said that is the OTHER side.

This recent reunion was the fun loving grab-ass side of loud mouths and blowhards, and I think they are more fun, but also far more likely to be your jail cell mate for the night.

So I sat my grand-dad down at one of the tables where my Aunt Edna was blasting on about one thing and then another. She had just been to a doctor’s appointment and been tested for some heart difficulties and she was making loud announcements about the diagnosis of “acute angina’ to anyone that continued to listen and those that did not. I noticed my grand-dad fiddling with his hearing aid, which is normal, so I just left him to the task without interruption.

Later as we rode home there was more silence than usual. Then grand-dad chimed out the following: “That dang Edna, she’s such a motor mouth, always has been, why she thinks anyone would be interested in her durned vagina is beyond me. And besides that I don’t believe I’ve ever seen one I could call ‘a cute vagina’ anyhow.”

We rode on in more silence. We figured Edna deserved it. The wife and I just nodded up and down in the “that’s exactly right grand-dad” affirmative signal.


Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You have GOT to be kidding, right??

I would've busted a gut laughing!!!

Ah Grandparents!!!

Seven said...

Well he is actually a pretty funny man, but also very very elderly and sensitive about his hearing so we took discretion as the wiser action; but danged hard to hold the laughter back.

Jenn said...

That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time.

Seriously - the funniest.

Seven said...

Yep grand-dad is funny for sure. I guess maybe he deserves credit and we failed to give it to him!

Sandra said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sandra said...

Retyping a little more slowly this time -- Your granddad is priceless!!!!

Seven said...

Not really....make an offer and I'll consider it.