Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Council Issues Statement in Golden, Colorado

Seven's Satire Report News
Golden, Colorado
September 20, 2006

The Council of Christian Dyed-in-the-Wool Leadership issued an official statement yesterday afternoon in an attempt to clarify its position on the recent comments by the Pope and the resultant outcry among Muslim faithful. The Council's president, Reverend James Micheals, read the following statement to Seven's gathered reporters.
"The Council is unified in its feeling that both parties to this dispute, both Catholic and Muslim demonstrators, should be blessed from this point forward with a powerful golden shower of love from the Lord."

Jennifer Squalls, Executive Director of the National Society of Watersports Enthusiasts said members of her organization are deeply offended by the Council's statement, believing that the group is attempting to belittle her organizations mission statement. She said her group plans a protest in downtown San Francisco on the next rainy Saturday.

Reverend Micheals says he doesn't understand what Ms. Squalls means.

End of Report.


Blogger Jenn said...

Love it. HI-larious.

September 19, 2006 at 9:44 PM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

I don't understand it either. It looks like weaseling to me.

September 20, 2006 at 6:34 AM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Oh, I misunderstood. I didn't understand the Christian Counsel's comment. But I do maintain the second sentence of my first comment.

September 20, 2006 at 6:36 AM  
Blogger a fish on a bycicle said...

I'd like to donate

September 20, 2006 at 7:50 AM  
Blogger ~gkw said...


September 20, 2006 at 10:51 AM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

Ha haaaa... good one handsome!

September 20, 2006 at 12:25 PM  
Blogger Reach said...

OK, that one brought a huge laugh from my office- I hope the Colonel was not in...


September 20, 2006 at 5:44 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

heeheehee...too funny.

September 21, 2006 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Al said...

A golden shower indeed!

September 21, 2006 at 2:32 PM  

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