Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Email nonsense

I use spam arrest to keep an unbelievable amount of uselesss email out of my MS Outllook inbox. But I have to admit, every once in a while I want to know what unbelievable nonsense got pulled out of my sight before I saw it.
This is like the gruesome accident scene you can’t help staring at.
I went to Spam Arrest where I can actually see what didn’t get through. I thought I would share it with you. It’s kinda interesting. It seems email solicitors have an inordinate amount of interest in my penis. I suppose most of us men want someone to be interested in our penis, but this may be too much.
Here are my favorites. They were collected, believe it or not, over the most recent three day period from about 400 other equally ridiculous solicitations.

Give your penis increased performance and vitality!

Develop an awesome penis!

Get your drugs cheaper online!

The most affordable plastic surgery ever!

Produce stronger and rock hard erections!

Increase your sex drive with a healthier penis!

Dinner on us at your favorite restaurant with $45 printer ink order!

24 screwdrivers in one, just spin and load!

Increase your penis width by 20%!

Improve your sex life with a bigger penis!

Do you notice a trend here? First of all, how do these people know anything about my penis size? I don’t go about exhibiting it to these ad folks. And what defines an awesome penis exactly?

If I am to believe all this then I can go to dinner free because I ordered $45 worth of ink, get some cheap online drugs to go with dinner, have a strong rock hard erection at dinner (20% bigger) and I would have one very cool screwdriver in my pocket to go with the rock hard penis that has increased performance and vitality, and be looking good after affordable plastic surgery!

Very cool. I think I should get all my email from now on.


Grant said...

I seem to get more offers to see people having sex with farm animals. I guess the cybergods approve of my penis size. Or maybe they just think I'm beyond help.

Seven said...

Hey, I might pay to see that, especially my favorite farm animals!

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Having a name that could be either male OR female, even I get those penis enlargement ads.

Then I'm all like: "Ohhhh, Peanut King...c'mere a second...I got something to show you...." ;)

Nah, just kiddin'.....

Seven said...

Well PQ,
They say women do most of the buying in the household so maybe they have the women targeted on purpose!
That would have to be the worst gift ever to have your wife or girlfriend give you a penis enlargement instructions.
OMG, now we have probably given way too many evil women the perfect 'get you back' idea!