Monday, May 29, 2006

Dachsund with a "Glue-On"

Our dog Harrison has followed me around all weekend. I feel like a prisoner in a maximum security prison while Harrison plays the role of the prison guard.

It doesn’t seem that I can make a move without being observed. He is a canine version of George Orwell’s Big Brother.

My wife is in Saint Louis visiting our grandson. That has completely discombobulated Harrison and he clearly doesn’t know where she is and he’s freaked out.

He has decided he will express his concern for her whereabouts by sticking like glue to me and being certain that he knows where I am. He’s been to pee with me. He’s been to the pool with me. He’s been into the kitchen with me. He patiently sat at my feet while I made a sandwich.

I can't figure out how to ditch him. He's right under my feet every time I look down.

He lay by the edge of the pool while I sunned. He barked his Dachsund ass off at two squirrels, which appeared to shoot the finger at him; or at least the squirrel equivalent of the same. He barked at the neighbor’s dog. The neighbor’s dog in a fit of vast dog intelligence barked back with great passion. When I went inside he followed me, seeming to surrender in the war with the squirrels and neighbor dog.

When I went into the living room he followed. He wanted to sit in my lap.

No thanks.

He smells bad because he’s been lying in the sun. I smell bad too, but then I can take a shower and I’m too lazy to wash his ‘clinging to me’ furry dog butt.

I don’t think he cares if he stinks anyway.

Dear wife, please come home before I kill the guard…err…I mean your dog.


Rob said...

I empathise with you, Rick. I have the pleasure of being the refuge for two cats and a dog that my loving wife has or had a compelling feeling at one point to nurture. And since the time she brought them home, separated by several months to years, they have bonded to me. In fact, I vowed to totally ignore our last 'saved' addition to the family, the yorkshire/daschund mix, so it's place would be properly etched in its bonding program. Wrong. It must be something about the way we smell, regardless of how many showers we take. With such awesome power, comes great responsibility.

Grant said... nice to the cute little puppy. Sounds like he just needs a hug. =)

I love animals. It's people I want to kill.

Angie said...

I'm sorry, I had a comment and then completely lost it when read Grant's. I just keep picturing this commando with a satanic voice saying "aww, wook at da cute widdle puppy". I think I'm officially freaked out.

Seven said...

I understand. Even though the wife is gone right now it has always been clear to Harrison that he belongs to me. She coos over him, bathes him and feeds him. I glare at him.
He loves me. Go figure.

OK. I'll try.

Seven said...

Sit down and try to calm yourself. I think Grant is quite clear. It's only people that he hates.

Molly said...

Dachsunds are well known for bonding with one specific person. Looks like you're it!

patti_cake said...

Awww that is too funny. He is like a cat,they usually cling right to the person that likes them the least. Reilly sticks me like GLUE. I can't even pee in peace without him sitting staring at me and the baby standing beside him going "Pee Pee" Um, yeah. I guess all the privacy has gone right out the window there!
Poor Harrison, hopefully she will be home soon.

Reach said...

Rick, it is clear--...
"You are the Alpha" in that house.
I can see Harrison's confusion, as you are the one who generally leaves. I wonder-
I wonder if Harrison is thinking that he will be the next to go?

Just a thought,


As for Grant's comments- Hey, in nature I depend on the critters for everything, even my alarm for wake or security. Aminals (intentional), are cool.

Seven said...

The answer is no. If he keeps standing under my feet; he will be the FIRST to go, just cuz he's gonna get squished sooner or later by my errant feet!

Reach said...

I am finding the humor of this situation, only because I am removed from it.


Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

You sound like The PK!!!

But Jezebel is MY dog...wherever I go at Palace Peanut she is more or less up my ass. I can't do ANYTHING without her being right under my feet.

Sounds like little Harrison just wants some lovin'! :)

Sereena X said...

Rick, enjoy it. Dachshunds are the best dogs... intelligent, loyal, loving, quirky.

It's not their fault they're made of velcro.

Bellarosa said...

LOL, I had a Dachsund/Beagle mix that was the same way, she had to be in the room that I was in no matter what I was doing. Enjoy it, I lost her a few years ago in my divorce, the in-laws got custody of the dog, and because I do not ever want to look at them ... I can't see my baby. Thanks for visiting my blog, come back anytime. I am going to go back to reading your's. :)