Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Anybody Know All the Words?

I have finally had it up to here!

I am going to say it out loud where everybody can hear me. The Star Spangled Banner is a really truly ugly song for a national anthem. I mean, look at Francis Key’s credentials. He was an amateur poet. Hmmm….just like you and me!

Now do not start thinking I’m one of those light shoed demo state liberals like Ward Churchill that doesn’t even like the country that grants him enormous privilege.

In fact, if I wasn’t past what the military views as ‘prime-time’ I would go to Afghanistan and find Osama ‘what’s his name’ and drag his diseased kidney ass down the mountainside single-handedly and go back for another one in the same day. In fact I think George Bush is a bit of a pacifist.

I love my country and the freedom it represents.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way………..I listened to yet another rendition of the anthem last night before the NBA finals and cringed I tell you, I cringed.

I mean it seems like this torture is 10 minutes long. It has to be the ugliest song I have ever heard. I’m not a singer but it has got to be impossible to sing unless you are Whitney ‘freakin’ Houston or Ray Charles! And Ray is gone!

“Bombs bursting in air” “The rockets red glare” That’s all ancient technology!

If I see one more performer get that “oh shit” look in their eyes when they suddenly can’t remember the weird lyrics…………can’t we just have an “I love my nation pretty song with memorable lyrics” that doesn’t take 10 minutes to sing; that is if you can actually remember the lyrics?

Imagine Ray Charles singing ‘America the Beautiful’.

Now don’t imagine the next odd attempt by some celebrity at making the Star Spangled Banner sound new and improved.

Keep Ray’s sound in your head.

Can’t we at least circulate a petition to send to Congress?

Can we just fess up to the rest of the world that we have a weird and musically ugly national anthem?

And since Al Gore invented the internet, we could give him first shot at the new song…………wait a minute though, I’m not too sure about a ‘global warming warning being part of the new song. Scratch that idea.

Somebody with long distance skills contact Ray………please?


patti_cake said...

I have listened to it MANY times before every stock car race and you are absolutely right. It is not a "pretty" song and even worse if the singer tries to jazz it up with riffs etc. I guess Whitney is my favorite rendition if I have to hear it though! Have a wonderful day Rick
*hums "Oh Say Can You Seeee"*

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

If it's sung right, it's not bad. But "American the Beautiful" I think would definitely be a better song.

You don't want to hear me sing EITHER song, I will tell you that! ;)

Anonymous said...

I agree, it isn't a pretty song and is completely impossible to sing, even if you are blessed with a voice .. and no I wasn't blessed so no one wants to hear me attempt it.
Have you ever watched an olympic athlete on the podium, listening to the star spangled banner, attempt to sing along? most of the time they give up on the words ... but lets not forget it is the same tune as "God Save the Queen" so we aren't even original.

But just like the attempt to change the GA flag several years ago to remove the confederate emblem of the "stars and bars". Any suggestion of changing the song will be met with opposition and strife. In fact the flag was changed, then changed back .... Most people do not like change, but I say change is good .. let's roll with a new song!! :)

Anonymous said...

Honey, be careful what you wish for. We could end up with something that's more reflective of our current diversity. Besides, it would just give Congress something to spend another billion dollars on. Nah, I'll stick with the old butchered version and spending my taxpayer money on something worth $500 hammers.

Seven said...

If we can just reach Ray, he will write it for free.
All the available money is gone to the downtrodden Katrina bilkers living in Honolulu hotels for the past year anyhow!

Grant said...

I agree with you, although America the Beautiful is still a tad long for today's fast paced society. See if you can get the petition started for this:

America Rulz!

We are Americans
And are therefore superior to you
We rule the Earth
Now and forever
Giant Atomic Chickens not withstanding
You exist at our mercy
So start making with the head
Pretty yellow women
Hail Satan!

Note - the preceeding can by sung to any tune. In fact I encourage everyone in the crowd to sing it to whatever tune they like.

Seven said...

Your flexibility regarding your song is illustrative of the freeedoms that make America great!

Sandra said...

These day's we'd never agree on a new anthem. I'd want one with no mention of God or religion whatsoever, so America The Beautiful wouldn't work for me...although it couldn't be quite as butchered by the likes of Roseanne, so it'd be an improvement.

Jenn said...

Rick - you've posted some good stuff here...funny too. But this made me cackle out loud at work. The line about Bush being a pacifist...somehow hit my funny bone! I get it but it's funny.

And you're's an ugly song. But you've released me from my shame that I have never been able to sing the whole song from start to finish.

Good stuff.

Ilias- said...

Oh, say can you see, by this song's oversight,
how it's all about war?
Do you think Ray can make a peaceful hippie theme song for our country?

Angie said...

Fecking Blogger! That annonymous comment was me...honey ;)

Seven said...

Well, if not America the Beooootiful, what do you think of Grant's suggestion? I don't think he mentions God or religion. Wait a minute, something in there about Satan. Is that religious or anti-religious? Hmmm, note to self; ask Grant.

Release your shame. Happy to be at your cervix...err service I mean.

I actually thionk Ray didn't like hippies. I am a huge Ray fan and I know the flower music scene diminished his spotlight a little. I do think the Raylettes could add some sparkle though to whatever he came up with. I loved those Raylettes!

YOU can call me honey any time!

Reach said...


I agree, wholly, when we speak of a singer attempting to add "a personal" touch to "The Star Spangled Banner". Music is intended to be played as it is written.

However, as a graduate of the USAF SERE program, I must say it was the most beautiful piece I have ever heard, on that final day of training. Unexpectedly, it was played for all to hear. And, with pride in our hearts, every word and each note made perfect sense. Not have I since, stood so tall at attention, as that day, before my captors.


Seven said...

All views welcome. Thanks for the input, I trust you are voting no on this one? ;)
I always had a fantasy of someday standing on an olympic platform and hearing the anthem, a fantasy obviously long ago dismissed, but I do still choke up a bit when I witness it happening for someone else.
The emotion evoked for love of country is what I believe you are describing and it is not lost on me. I feel a common bond with country and allegiance thereto, but I think maybe the bond can be re-created or developed equally with a more musical/artistically pleasing anthem?

Anonymous said...

our anthem has been called outdated - just doesnt suit anymore.. cant really say about the american one though.

is anyone ever truely happy with their government? If they are, should they be?

Anonymous said...

your line about Bush being a pacifist gave me a huge laugh.
I mean really !