Monday, June 19, 2006

Are U Like Your Mother? Is That OK?

One of the gems of wisdom that men pass to their sons:
"If you begin to get serious about a girl be sure to get to know her mother. If you don't like her mom then with the passage of time you will not like the girl either. If her Mom is as fat as a State Fair grand champion, then so will be your teenage girlfriend someday; usually one year after marrying her. If mom screams at her husband, you will be screamed at too. Conversely, if you like the mom and she is sweet and kind and forgiving and all things sugar and spice, then you might just be alright."

Yes, in a grand fit of upholding 'man-laws and observances' (don't you love those commercials?) I passed this on to my son. He has had a lot of laughs with it because he has now witnessed it first hand on his own among his girl friends. And, of course, he will pass this wisdom to his sons.

I'm like my dad in many ways. OK, a helluva lot of ways. And my son is a whole lot like me in personality, temperment and general thinking about the world.

So girls, are you like your mom? Is that OK with you? Or did you break the mold? Maybe you are more like your dad?

Guys, is your wife just like your mom-in-law? Or the girlfriend just like her mom?

Overworked and perspiring minds in Texas want to know.


Margie said...

Enjoyed your post,
My daughter and I are very much like each other ... except I am a little calmer. My son is a lot like his dad. ( Photo is of me and my daughter)

Anonymous said...

No .. No ... No .. I have broken the mold!!
And I did it intentionally. My mother is my mother so I love her ... but we do much better if we live in separate states. It is sad to say, but I don't even have memories of my mother as a child. I was raised by my 4 older sisters.

Which is why whenever I am talking to one of them ... I ask them "How's your mom?"

xwy said...

No way. I watched my mom put up with too many things in her life because she didn't have the will to change her situation. If anything my desire to be unlike her probably pushed me too far the other way.

Seven said...

Wow, talk about 2 peas sitting in a pod. And the best part is it looks to me like 2 men are in good shape on this mom/daughter deal!

Lady Dandelion,
I have seen this too. That's why I inserted the 'break the mold' question. The man laws are abandoned in these cases.
Now if YOU have a daughter however, man laws might be resurrected.

Seven said...

Got it. Be sure and tell the guys that they don't need to assess the Stormy mom as it wil lead down false trails.

xwy said...

Luckily, by living in different states, very few men get to the level of meeting her. But I will keep that in mind.

And YES! I love those man law commercials. Especially the one about sticking your finger in the beer bottle. Eck!

~grey said...

interesting post...

I guess in my younger years... I would have balked at this and said ya right! But now that I am older and have kids of my own... I see this happening.
But I think every case is different. I have 3 sisters and I am the only one that is similar to Mother. I think we have all taken a small part of her... I have the big heart and caring soul. But body size is where we differ.

I think in some aspect we all take a bit of our parents with us through life. It all depends on how we handle situations. I see certain characteristics of mine in my son. Which I hope he keeps with him as he enters the world of Adults.

Monogram Queen said...

Sometimes I see my Mom peeking out in me and I think "whoah". She can be a very spoiled,selfish person and I can too if I don't reign it in. I totally believe your theory Rick.

Seven said...

Silent One,
Reading your reply I was struck by the fact that you capitalized 'Mother'
This is revealing in its own way and you have shown me some of you. A good part of you.
This is a very thoughtful comment, thanks.

Ditto. You did it too! I think sometimes selfishness is misunderstood for merely needing attention; and we all love attention don't we?

Jenn said...

Yeah - I was on the fast track to being like my mom. Then I had a lot of therapy. :-) My mom is also a different person than she was when I was growing up..not that she was a bad person. Let's just say she was an all or nothing kind of gal...and life just doesn't work like that. She said 'Make it happen.' a lot...when just can't. Anyway...I'm a mix of mom and choice. Then there's a whole lot of Jenn mixed in...just for spice. My dad was absentee for many years of my childhood...didn't see him from the time I was 11 to 23. I always struggled because I wasn't like my mom (all the way) and when I re-met my made sense. He's where I get my gentle side. The side that's too gentle to survive in him. My parents made a good mix - but on their own...she's too strong and independant and he's to soft-spoken and wimpy.

Well - there's more than you ever needed to know about my parents.

Seven said...

Thanks for sharing. I find it a fascinating subject. Like you I am a blend of parents myself.
My mother is extremely impatient and even capricious in word and action. But very caring in her own way.
My dad was the most patient man I have ever known. One of the kindest and most disciplined as well. But very strong and determined. I miss him every day.
I am both and it can be perplexing to the people that love me. But at least they love me anyway.

Steve said...

Well, this is an interesting question posed. I'm not sure how to answer, I think because my Mom raised me pretty much herself, I am most like her. Of course, Step-Dad wasn't all that "checked in", so there wasn't much to glean except some of his aloofness. Then there's Dad, who had been gone for 20 something years, and there are similarities between us, though I don't remember much of him in my life. Meeting him again was a testament to genetics, as we talk similarly and think similarly too sometimes...obsessively!
I think most I am Mom mixed with Grandpa. Grandpa died when I was 8, but before he left, he rubbed off in a big way! He was a hard-working, loving and strong man. He taught me to reject the poor me weak ego self, and to listen to the proud higher self.. the spirit!
Thanks for the post, lots of fun to think about!

Seven said...

Thanks for checking in....and hurrah for Mom's and Grandpa's!

Grant said...

Neither exists in my life, so there is that much similarity at least. If my girlfriend acted anything like my mother, I'd ditch her immediately (and I have done that before).

Seven said...

I guess you cleared up how you feel about your mother.
Fatty, please take notes.

Anonymous said...

Wifey is the spittin'image of her mom and I loved them both at first sight, or as close as reasonably possible. Can't say I'm looking forward to the brain farts, though.

Fish said...

Wise words, except that my girlfriend's mums are generally in their 80's.

I suppose I could get a glimpse of her future with dentures and hairy warts..

Seven said...

Yes Fish,
Exactly my point!

Anonymous said...

this is an interesting paradox i have long struggled with.

I have always looked up to all my mum has done and achieved and been. I'm glad would be proud to eminate her.
Yet in some ways i am violently opposed to her and her opinions. I disagree with much of her beliefs, her character and her peronsality. Its my father coming out in me.

I have alson seen how she is with her mother - who she is so different to.

But i know my mum sees in me what she was at my age. It makes me believe i am more like her than i realise.

I struggle with everything in my mum i see in myself, and everything i learn from my mum that i would change.

Anonymous said...

what is grant's mother like? i'll emanate her too..

Seven said...

From what I have read in Grant's writings, you don't want to go there!
Just stay your nice sweet Fatty self.

Networkchic said...

I actually am a lot like my mother...but that's ok because she happens to be a hell of a woman. :-)

Seven said...


Leesa said...

I may have mannerisms like my mom, but I'm pretty sure ( and glad) that I broke the mold:)

Seven said...

Hi Leesa!

Leesa said...

Hi :) Thanks for the comments on my photo blog, I certainly enjoy it.