Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Anybody Have One of These?

Did I tell you guys I compete in track meets despite being 55 years old? Yea, I thought maybe somewhere along the way I told you that. It probably sounds kinda weird to the casual observer, but I have managed to carve out a world class status for myself in my age group. And well, hell….I’ve never been world class in anything else so I just keep on doing it. Currently I am ranked 4thin the world at 200 meters for men my age.

To get there I have to stay in tip top condition and the work on the track and in the weight room can be really exhausting. By now you might be thinking…so what?….but there is a point and I have something to tell you about.

Just like show and tell in elementary school I want to show you one of my high tech Christmas presents from this past Christmas. Yes, the same Christmas I bitched and complained and moaned about in public repeatedly…same one…but I got an interesting present from BEG even if I was grumpy once again at the season of all seasons on the female calendar.

See this? Unless you are terribly nearsighted I guess that’s a dopey question, but if you are you wouldn’t have gotten this far ...........anyway, this was one of my Christmas presents.

It’s a scale, but not just an ordinary everyday scale. This lil baby is made by Tanita and it will tell you all the following using biomechanical impedance….

Weight: Allows users to monitor weight alone, without receiving a body fat reading.

Body Fat%: Displays the amount of body fat in proportion to your body weight.

Body Water %: Calculates user's body water %.

Muscle Mass: Displays the weight of muscle in your body.

Metabolic Age: This feature compares your calculated metabolism to the average age associated with that level of metabolism.

DCI/Metabolic Age: Daily caloric intake is the estimated number of calories that can be consumed within the next 24 hours to maintain current weight based on your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR)

Bone Mass: This feature indicates the weight of bone (bone mineral level, including calcium or other minerals) in the body.

Visceral Fat: Displays the amount Visceral fat in the abdominal cavity (stomach), surrounding the vital organs.

Since I know you are dying to know, being social voyeurs of the seventh degree, here are my stats as of this evening:
Weight: 170.2 lbs
Body Fat%: 11.8%
Water %: 55.9%
Muscle Mass: 142.6 lbs of handsome head turning macho muscle
Metabolic age: 18 years old, and no smartasses they do not mean emotional age!
Daily caloric intake: 1,920 calories.
Bone Mass: 7.4 lbs
Visceral fat: 7 lbs

Consider the last 5 minutes of your life completely wasted by the science of biomechanical impedance and Seven’s delayed Christmas excitement, not to mention his inadequate attempts at controlling narcissism.

This next test is to see if you can find Waldo, err...Seven in the photo below. First one to correctly identify me in this lineup is trying too hard.

And last, but not funny…the Joke of the Day

Three women, two younger, and one senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The first young woman pressed her forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. "That was my pager," She said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.

A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand."

The older woman felt very low tech. Not to be outdone, she decided she had to do something just as impressive.

She stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.

The older woman finally said.........well, will you look at that... I'm getting a fax!

18 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH MY GAWD....I am laughing so hard right now I can hardly type. A fax! That's hilarious!

Oh..you show off.

January 30, 2007 at 9:24 PM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Oh I don't want to get anywhere NEAR a scale THAT smart!!!! YIKES!!! :)

And you're the hunk looking down at his feet, right?

January 31, 2007 at 6:48 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Jenny,
I really laughed at that silly joke. Out Loud. So I had to share it.

Queen of the Nuts,
Dang it Stacy Switzer, famous newspaper columnist, you went and tried too hard!

January 31, 2007 at 6:51 AM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

My guess was the one in black looking down also. Uh, Stacy and I have a little more experience checking out Seven than maybe your average reader. Wait did I say that out loud? I meant... *grin*

January 31, 2007 at 9:48 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I got something similar for my son for Christmas. He's 5'10 150 lb. drink of water and is working on gaining weight by increasing bulk and muscle mass, but he wants to do it safely and in a healthy manner.

So, Christmas morning, I peel off everything I have on, brush my teeth, pee, clean the lint out of my navel, and step on the sucker.

I decided that was an adventure I didn't want to have again anytime soon.

:-)

January 31, 2007 at 9:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

1. I like the new blog look!!

2. I agree with Patti . . . the one in black.

3. I DON'T WANT ONE OF THOSE VILE MACHINES!!! I don't want to know!!!!!

January 31, 2007 at 10:06 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Cakes,
loose lips...you are jus sooo naughty..haha, didn't recognize me with my clothes on?

Pat,
Never thought about the navel thing...might have to re-publish the stats

Silver Lovely,
This is the old look slightly revised. This space used to be called "Now I Get It......Maybe" and I just kinda missed that title. sentimental... :)

January 31, 2007 at 10:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My older sister is in her 40s; she'd kill me if I said her age, but I can say that. Anyway she goes on bike mathathons where they sometimes cover over 50 miles in one day in the ROCKIE MOUNTAINS. She has to train very hard. She is so tough that she will only train with men because she says that she hasn't met a woman who can keep up with her. And I know her and believe it. She is a force of nature. So Godspeed to you my friend.

January 31, 2007 at 11:53 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was going to guess the #2 spot... but I wasn't going to describe you as the "hunk looking down at his feet" that just wouldn't be right....

I'm a little jealous now, I've never had Stacey call me a hunk.... :( I think I'll go back to work and sulk for a while. LOL

January 31, 2007 at 11:57 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Enemy,
I appreciate that and for the record I train with one of the best female sprinters in the world. She lives here in the DFW metroplex and she kind of gravitated my way for that very reason. She needs the edge of running with my group of warriors to maintain her standing. Love her, she's sweet and everything feminine, but she can ROLL and kick boy butt.

Gary,
You gotta understand its just that PQ and I have a pact to flatter one another no matter what SHE actually thinks I just have to do my part...

January 31, 2007 at 12:05 PM  
Blogger Silent One ~D~ said...

WoooHooo the PQ got it right! Way to go Girl! She spent the day studying. LOL

But I didn't think you were looking at your feet...LOL
nice legs btw!

January 31, 2007 at 12:25 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Silent Girl,
You may go straight to detention hall with Cakes...and thanks *blush*

January 31, 2007 at 12:39 PM  
Anonymous Rob said...

Lane 2, 60 M Dash Boston final 2006
Houston Elit 8.27, your qualifier was faster (8.09)
close enough?

January 31, 2007 at 1:41 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Rob,
Boise Idaho, lane 2, 60m, 2005 finals

January 31, 2007 at 2:56 PM  
Blogger Mayden's Voyage said...

You're way cool-
But everyone here already knew that! ;)

My scale says one thing...
KEEP WALKING!

If it starts saying- START RUNNING-
I'll have to kill it :)

Hey- the ice and snow are headed our way...will there be pic's???
probably ;)

January 31, 2007 at 9:09 PM  
Blogger Reach said...

Seven, I've been reading your words for some time, not as long as others; never the less, I am excited to hear your world ranking. Number 4 is awesome and congratulations.

Reach

PS I guessed lane number two also, but only before reading other comments.

February 2, 2007 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger Reach said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

February 2, 2007 at 12:03 PM  
Blogger kate said...

Freaking awesome about the record... are you the one in red in the middle?

That scale is really cool! I would consider getting it for my spouse (he runs too) but then IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi would have to walk by it every day and it would call out to me... "hey fatty... come hither"

February 2, 2007 at 6:19 PM  

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