There was a storm around my place last week. In fact you may have seen on the national news that George and Laura hunkered down in White House II in
Crawford is about 100 miles from me as the interstate flies.
It was a big nasty black
During this media enhanced storm, I was watching one of the college bowl games on television. In lockstep with more common cultural stereotypes, all bowl games tend to look alike to me. Nevertheless, I was interested in the game because it was a local team and they were mounting a remarkable and ultimately successful comeback.
Midstride of this comeback by the college locals the CBS television station broke in with news concerning the storm. Here is the rather odd bit of news and advice offered by those making decisions at the station.
We interrupt our regular programming to advise our viewers that a large portion of our viewing area has lost electrical power.
This news was followed by a long rambling message from a very self important appearing talking head about what to do if you have lost power. The sage advice included lighting candles and using blankets to keep warm. Also, don’t open your refrigerator a whole lot or leave the door of the refrigerator standing open, because your food could ruin.
Here is what my brain was screaming. You morons! If I don’t have power I CAN”T SEE YOU or HEAR YOU!! How do you think people without power are going to hear your message about what to do if they don’t have power!! I’m missing the great comeback as its happening because you are so incredibly STUPID!
So….what am I missing here? Usually when I think I am right someone comes along and points out something I have missed making me wrong again. A friend tried to tell me that the message could be relayed by phone to non-power havers and that way the important message loop would be complete. Wrong, because without power you don’t have phone service.
He called me a retard and asked if I had ever heard of cell phones? “OK”, I said, “so I’m supposed to call people on their cell phones and tell them to leave their refrigerator shut and light a candle and huddle under a blanket if they get cold?”
He said, “Yes, that’s right”
I said, “No, that’s wrong, I have smart friends, apparently your friends are consummate dumbasses”
Then of course, Mister TV talking head repeated the whole message just in case we were all taking notes and happen to write slowly.
When the game returned, the score was tied. GAAHHHHHH!!!