Thursday, January 04, 2007

We interrupt our regular programming to prove we are stupid...


There was a storm around my place last week. In fact you may have seen on the national news that George and Laura hunkered down in White House II in Crawford, Texas.

Crawford is about 100 miles from me as the interstate flies.

It was a big nasty black Texas storm, but the media may have overplayed the drama a bit. That fact probably surprises you as much as Mike Tyson’s recent arrest.

During this media enhanced storm, I was watching one of the college bowl games on television. In lockstep with more common cultural stereotypes, all bowl games tend to look alike to me. Nevertheless, I was interested in the game because it was a local team and they were mounting a remarkable and ultimately successful comeback.

Midstride of this comeback by the college locals the CBS television station broke in with news concerning the storm. Here is the rather odd bit of news and advice offered by those making decisions at the station.

We interrupt our regular programming to advise our viewers that a large portion of our viewing area has lost electrical power.

OK, thanks.

This news was followed by a long rambling message from a very self important appearing talking head about what to do if you have lost power. The sage advice included lighting candles and using blankets to keep warm. Also, don’t open your refrigerator a whole lot or leave the door of the refrigerator standing open, because your food could ruin.

Here is what my brain was screaming. You morons! If I don’t have power I CAN”T SEE YOU or HEAR YOU!! How do you think people without power are going to hear your message about what to do if they don’t have power!! I’m missing the great comeback as its happening because you are so incredibly STUPID!

So….what am I missing here? Usually when I think I am right someone comes along and points out something I have missed making me wrong again. A friend tried to tell me that the message could be relayed by phone to non-power havers and that way the important message loop would be complete. Wrong, because without power you don’t have phone service.

He called me a retard and asked if I had ever heard of cell phones? “OK”, I said, “so I’m supposed to call people on their cell phones and tell them to leave their refrigerator shut and light a candle and huddle under a blanket if they get cold?”

He said, “Yes, that’s right”

I said, “No, that’s wrong, I have smart friends, apparently your friends are consummate dumbasses”

Then of course, Mister TV talking head repeated the whole message just in case we were all taking notes and happen to write slowly.

When the game returned, the score was tied. GAAHHHHHH!!!

24 Comments:

Blogger Rick said...

Yeah, I watched nine days of that logic on my battery-operated TV last month.

"Power's out, and if you'd like to know when it's coming back on, log onto our Website at www.idiots-on-tv.com."

January 4, 2007 at 7:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Now wait. When you say "without power you don’t have phone service," you're not entirely right. If all your phones are cordless, then yes. But I always keep one regular old-fashioned phone with a cord for those times. I pull it out of the drawer, plug it in and, voila! I can be in touch with people, even after the cell phone battery dies!(In KC, occasional ice storms cause power outages as long as a week.) Wild concept, I know, but then, I'm a rather wild woman. And smart. And willing to teach you new things. Just call. I'll have a phone!!!! LOL!!

January 4, 2007 at 9:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ahhhh Lynilu...wise woman. I used to have one of those phones for just that reason. Somehow, I must have lost some brain cells along the way because I forgot to keep the phone.

Seven - I agree...the news is irritating. My biggest pet peeve is when the weather guy tells about the weather that's already happened. That's 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back...every day! Does anyone need to know what kind of weather ALREADY is OVER?!?

January 4, 2007 at 9:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I giggled when i read this! Always remember, idiots abound, keep your eyes peeled.

January 5, 2007 at 6:15 AM  
Blogger Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Maybe we're lucky here....but two of our local channels broadcast over the radio...so as long as we have batteries, we have news.

It was a real blessing when we went thru those three hurricanes a few years ago.

Still, I agree...idiots abound. :)

January 5, 2007 at 7:01 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Rick,
I guess maybe they were addressing people with battery powered television? How many people have those I wonder?

Lynilu,
Yea I know, but can you see and hear television thru one? Still your idea is a good one for all the readers. I have one in a drawer somewhere. Of course if I have to go search for it in the dark....

Jenn, Yesterday it rained so you needed your umbrella! Thanks a lot. hehehe good point

Fatty,
Jeeeez, seems like I never see them coming unless I look in a mirror.

Queen of Nuts,
Yep we have the same on radio...but I was watching an electric powered television at the time!!! Use a blanket to keep warm??... DUH...OK...I'll use my electric blanket.

January 5, 2007 at 7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Seven - That's what flashlights are for . . . if you know where *those* are!

January 5, 2007 at 9:50 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

lulu,
Same problem, only things I can find in the dark are attached to me, and none of it shines, except my head when it is first out of the shower.

January 5, 2007 at 9:56 AM  
Blogger patti_cake said...

No you are absolutely right. That IS stupid and if I have to call you and TELL you those things.. you are stupid.
What bowl game was it? It wasn't Houston/South Carolina by any chance?

January 5, 2007 at 10:19 AM  
Blogger Seven said...

Cakes,
Texas Tech-Minnesota....amazing game

January 5, 2007 at 10:35 AM  
Blogger Enemy of the Republic said...

Lord have mercy. I would have gone insane!

January 5, 2007 at 5:13 PM  
Anonymous Silent One ~D~ said...

have you ever wondered....

when you have lost power....

What ultra-important message you were missing out on...!

Ya I thought so... :o)

LMAO!

January 5, 2007 at 5:30 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Enemy,
I wonder how many football fans phoned the station and unloaded the clip of all ammunition?

Silent Girly,
No, but that's because I don't think with enough depth...soooo the TV stations are here to save me.

January 5, 2007 at 6:34 PM  
Blogger ~Deb said...

The one thing that baffles me is when we get a 'tornado' warning, where the hell do you go if you don't have a lower floor and you're stuck upstairs in your top apartment?

January 6, 2007 at 2:08 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

deb,
Oz

January 6, 2007 at 2:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Second best might have been to send a psychic message to people.

January 6, 2007 at 3:30 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

ilias,
Or just let those with power watch the regular programming.

January 6, 2007 at 4:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you were safe...lame tv announcements or not :)

January 6, 2007 at 9:30 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Tanx Mayden. I'm hard to scare.

January 6, 2007 at 10:23 PM  
Blogger Angie said...

I'm wondering if these were the same morons that told the Prez & Laura to ride out the storm in their car....parked in front of the storm cellar????????????????

January 8, 2007 at 12:15 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Storms,
That was probably George and Laura's decision. They are native Texans and familiar with the over-dramatization about tornadoes. Probably just messsin with the Secret Service for fun.

January 8, 2007 at 1:41 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh, seven, around here, that's not the half of it!

Not only do they go on television to tell you that your power is out but after it's taken you two hours to drive 13 miles to work through a foot of snow, they send out an "alert" advising that there may be heavy snow...and that the roads may be slippery.

Talk about a death grip on the frickin' obvious...

January 10, 2007 at 1:57 PM  
Blogger Seven said...

Pat,
I hear you, I really hear you!

January 10, 2007 at 6:30 PM  
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