Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Barney Fife

Okay, I‘m not too often pissed off when I write to ya, but I’m back on my ride about this spirit of law vs. letter of the law thing.

I went to workout on the track this morning (Monday). In your imagination, or imagination(s) if more than my one friend happens to be reading, imagine a major University in the Dallas-Fort Worth metroplex. Now imagine that you are pulling up in front of a large athletic complex. A football stadium would be a very accurate way to imagine this.

The parking area next to the athlete’s weight room and locker rooms will park about 50 cars. These spaces are a short distance from the main parking area for the stadium.

Imagine now that there are 3 other cars, which of course means there are 47 empty spaces. The reason for the empty lot was that it is 7:30 am and there are only 3 university athletes or coaches actually awake, not to mention there are no classes being taught.

I get donor parking privileges in this lot and I have swipe card access to the facility, including the athlete’s weight room. (Thank you university track coaches) However, the 2 donor spaces are occupied by a university pick-up truck with a trailer containing a lawn mower hitched behind.

Seven parked in one of the 47 open spaces and headed to the track. After the track, I went to the weight room. Lift Lift, Lift, get sweaty, look in mirror at handsome muscles. Finish, and head toward my car.

As you may have guessed, under my windshield wiper is a PARKING TICKET! There are still 46 open parking spaces. The adjacent stadium lot with thousands of spaces is empty. And I have a *$@*$#(*$@()(@( PARKING TICKET!!!

Dear University Police Officer,
Let me explain this to you. The parking law at the university is intended to protect students (when school is actually in session) from being unable to park at peak times if unauthorized vehicles are occupying the spaces. If the spaces are unoccupied, school is not is session and all athletes are asleep…….I am NOT CAUSING A PROBLEM……..YOU FREAKIN BARNEY FIFE !!!!!!!

This patient and cogent discussion of the philosophy of ‘letter of the law’ v. ‘spirit of the law’ has been brought to you by a retired law enforcement veteran, and card carrying donor to your university with a donor sticker on his car!!!

Thank you for listening. Peace and Out, Seven


patti_cake said...

Preach it brother! Amen! I get so pissed off at the letter of the law sometimes, I guess i'm more "spirit of the law" kinda gal.
Oh and did the university pick-up truck w/ lawn mower attached have a ticket. He obviously was not parked in the correct space if he was in yours!

Angie said...

Now, you know there was a chance that 47 students would rush the stadium in need of a workout *she said while laughing hysterically* Maybe you should petition the University to revoke this meter maid's pen?

Seven said...

Doesn't ignorance just smoke your brain out of its sockets?

It was a dude in a little stupid freakin golf cart....Barney fecking Fife...I see him goin round all the time...now he is going to get a 7 lecture.

Rick said...

You know the guy driving the golf cart cum parking enforcement vehicle is the starting quarterback, right? And he gets paid $150K to do his part-time job fifteen minutes a day?

Rob said...

I use my handy little cell phone camera (isn't technology wonderful?) to document the stupidity of the Fifedom brigade, and I actually win. Read him his rights, Bro, and don't forget to say "Have a nice day."

Jenn said...

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I hate 'box-thinkers'.

Seven said...

Only if the QB is 35yo with a great big pot belly. Recruiting gone awry?

Hmmm....never thought about that. Tanx.

Very well, I will cease thinking of boxes.

Grant said...

Shouldn't the maintenance man get a ticket for taking your spot?

Reminds me of those police officers who find a really steep hill and park at the bottom to catch speeders. It's not an attempt to uphold the spirit of the law, it's just an excuse to justify their existence by writing tickets.

Seven said...

Yep, some actually choose the hill also because you cannot see tehm until its too late.

Jenn said...

Silly! Not that kind of box.

Lynilu said...

You're just not living right. Plain and simple.

Leesa said...

69 ;)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Ticket, schmicket. Where's the picture of you with the hot sweaty muscles? ;)