Saturday, July 01, 2006

Miracles and Less

I promise to keep you up to date on the really bad haircut situation. Right now, I’m thinking since it’s a holiday weekend and I don’t have to show up at any biz meetings for at least 4 days, I will see if the hair can grow enough to look less like, well….a complete doofus.

But today, I want to talk to you about my book. Well, of course, just like all other bloggers I am writing a book! No kidding. No one will publish it, but at least I can join all the rest of you knuckleheads in saying “Yes, right now I’m busy working on my book.”

Last night I was working on Chapter 3. It was late and frankly I was getting tired and my attention was dimming. I stopped after one particular sentence and stared at it. I re-read it. I stared at it. Then I burst out laughing in a perfectly quiet house at 3 am. I guess that is considered normal since no one bothered to get up and ask “what’s so funny?”

In the middle of some text of great thoughtfulness and serious reflection (that is my way of writing you know) I had typed this sentence.

Miracles and sometimes less happen every day.

After the proper amount of reflection and study described above, I realized that the sentence surely was one of the STUPIDEST thoughts to ever come out of my keyboard. OK, I guess it may be the most stupid thought to come out of any keyboard anywhere. Unless we include Molly Ivins and Maureen Dowd.

Combined with the haircutting incident of the day before I figure I must have entered the ‘what in the hell is WRONG with you’ period of my life.

You know. That time when your wife and kids talk behind your back to the rest of the family? They say things like, “I just don’t know what’s wrong with him, he is doing and saying the strangest things you can imagine!” Or in the everyday shortcut language of my son, “What’s the deal with Dad, is he going retarded or something?”

Which leads me to believe I better hurry up with finishing the book. At least I can steal speell at this point.

But undie turd, I also had an immediate “ah-hah” thought when thinking about my totally ignorant sentence. I’m thinking t-shirts.

That’s right. T-shirts. There is always a moron in the world wearing a T-shirt with an inscription they believe is profound. Given the recent SAT exam scores I’ve seen I’m figuring the young kids will snap this right up thinking they are in the midst of a philosophical new age. Maybe Molly or Maureen will want one.

Would any of you like distribution rights in your area?

More t-shirt ideas tomorrow. Yes, that is a threat.


Rob said...

7. Are you sure somethin' didn't fall out when you shaved that close? Maybe a great big band-aid will do the job instead of the hat thing. Imagine all caring and soothing comments you might get instead of fessin' up. shh. I think I hear someone talkn' 'bout, you know...I still feel your pain.

Leesa said...

I'll take one ;)

Seven said...

Now we're thinking! Dang, wish I had thought of that. A great big band-aid that no one can look under! And I got stitches from saving a lady from a mugging! Genius!

Uretha! It's a miracle, maybe something less! Somebody wants one!

Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here giggling because as I scrolled down reading your post and read that line .. bold and in red ... I thought .. now that would make a stupid shirt. Just for that thought alone I think I deserve the very first shirt that is produced (the only thing missing is a 7 right next to the smiley face)

~Lady Dandelion

Silent One said...


I think it is a good sentence.

Makes you stop and think. But then if they stop long enough...they might notice your hair. *giggles*

But I really do like that sentence.

Seven said...

Lady Dandelion,
Great minds rotate around the same pole. Wait a minute, that sounds sort of suggestive doesn't it?

Silent One,
Slient no longer, I see. I'm wearing a cap these days. Sometimes I don't wear it in the house. The wife walks by me and starts grinning wide all over again. I guess the world really does have fun with a doofus.

Angie said...

At first I thought that you were just going through a phase but it has become apparent that you have angered the gods of intelligence. They are not easy to appease. You will need a tape of the Jerry Springer show, chicken feet, and a bugs bunny pez dispenser (filled with pez). Send me $49.95 and I will send you instructions for completing the ritual.

patti_cake said...

Hey that is a very cute shirt, love the shade of blue and the smiley face.
P.S. I'm cracking up at your son's quote ...

Jenn said...'re THAT guy. Well, I can honestly say that I'm glad to know you while you still have most of your wits about you.

And definitely...go with the head bandage.

I think that shirt would look GREAT on The Idiot....

Seven said...

What a cute new pic! Anything involving Bugs Bunny is probably a good idea. Check is in the mail, but since I don't have your address don't hold your breath.

Even though I made the quote up I know him well ennough to speak for him.

Yes, and he would probably even think he was smart!