Saturday, December 17, 2005

Grouchiness explained

Have you heard the stories of people dying in their sleep from carbon monoxide poisoning? It can and does happen. But, just like there are smoke alarms, there are also now carbon monoxide detectors for your home. They have a built-in sensor and the better ones will give you a digital readout of the level of the gas in your house.

I decided to get one yesterday. When I googled carbon monoxide poisoning I knew I had inadvertently stumbled upon something very important.

I learned what the symptoms are for carbon monoxide poisoning. You may be a victim of poisoning if you experience any or all of the following:
Unexplained lethargy
Inability to think quickly
Inability to speak clearly

I said, well I’ll be damned! I have all of those things! I better get a monitor.
I went immediately to Home Depot and got one of the very best monitors. I read all the instructions. I plugged it into the wall.

It went through all of its test procedures just fine and then began blinking out a big ‘zero'. This meant my house had no carbon monoxide gas present.
Now I’m a little pissed. I will have to endure unexplained lethargy, anxiety, fatigue, inability to think quickly, confusion, sleepiness and an inability to speak clearly for a while longer it appears.

Crap, I’m mad I’m not being poisoned!
Oh yeah, it also said grouchiness is a symptom. I have that too.
But not until I paid $50 for a sensor.


Robert Shapiro said...

My friend
I find that your column helps to relieve these symptoms in me. Also the instructions on how to use it are much simpler which is to my advantage since I am a bear of little brain at times.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Man, that's scary. I'd heard of it but never really given it any thought at all. Maybe I should...ah crap! One more thing to worry about, right???

And I'll be damned if I don't have all those symptoms too.

Of course, that "inability to speak clearly" could be the rum too. You think? ;)

Seven said...

Hmmmm.......same dang thang the wife said.........I wonder if we snorted the carbon monoxide; would we talk funny?